AtO: Diverging Paths
by PolarPanther
Summary: An exploration of various sized 'what if' scenarios, plot possibilities and all sorts of random ideas that could have led Harry down very different paths in my story 'Against the Odds'. (Content moved here from my blog.)
1. Alternate Job: Gardener

**Summary** : Armed with his limited education in Herbology and papers stating that he is a gardener, Harry has no problem getting a job in Konoha. As it turns out, even gardening has it's own set of problems.

* * *

"I didn't actually believe them when they said your plants were the best in Konoha," the black haired woman, Shizune, said as she rubbed a leaf between her fingers and scrutinized it with narrowed eyes. "Izumo and Kotetsu have a habit of exaggerating. But this is a strange thing to exaggerate about so I couldn't help being curious."

Harry smiled politely, still reeling from having the woman demand to see his plants so early in the morning.

Shizune straightened to look at him. "I'd like to buy this plant." Then she looked around and said, "Actually, I'd like to buy all of your plants."

"All of my plants?" Harry repeated in confusion.

"They are in the prime of health," Shizune said, looking around with sharp eyes. "I've never seen indoor plants so full of life. Not even inside our optimized greenhouses."

Harry blinked.

"They would make good additions to the official hospital greenhouses," Shizune said with a thoughtful look. "I know for a fact that we were having issues with our low yield..." she paused, as though realizing the tangent she was going off on. "I think these plants can be used for medicine production immediately."

"Okay," Harry said.

"Okay?"

"If you need to make medicines, then, it doesn't make sense for me to keep them here," Harry said with a shrug. "I'm not using them for anything."

"Our greenhouses could do with improving our plants' conditions..." she said with a pointed tone.

"I'm not," Harry shook his head, "I can't do anything like that. I just take care of the plants. Nothing else." He wasn't like Professor Sprout or even Neville. He couldn't assess what a plant needed to grow better. He could just prune, water and use magic to keep his plants alive. That strategy wouldn't work on magical plants.

"And yet, you've managed to make a potted snakeroot plant thrive outside of a greenhouse. What's your secret?"

Harry shrugged. "Just the usual."

Shizune looked almost amused. "It's obvious that you use techniques that are different from Konoha's, techniques that seem very effective" Shizune said. "Why haven't you applied to work at one of our greenhouses already?"

Harry searched for a suitable answer. "I was thinking about a career change, really."

"I don't see why you would want a different career when you have such talent with plants," Shizune said.

"I really don't," Harry said with a touch of desperation. "Really. These plants were healthy to begin with."

Shizune shot him a considering look. "You should come work at the hospital greenhouses. We could use all the healthy productive plants we can get. I'll even put in a good word for you, with these plants of yours."

Two days later, Harry stood in front of a three storey building with a circular red sign that read 'healing' above the glass doors.

With his first step though the glass doors, Harry reeled at the thick smell of disinfectant in the air and almost turned to leave. But he followed the small arrowed garden signs past the lines of waiting patients, the busy nurses and through numerous narrow corridors and out into a much quieter garden area.

Filled with neatly trimmed grass, fragrant pastel flowers and benches around a sparkling fountain, the garden was a welcome change from the busy hospital. But there were no greenhouses or helpful signs on where he could find the greenhouses.

However, there was a blonde girl seated on a bench and watching the sky.

Harry cleared his throat. "Excuse me?"

The blonde turned and stared with a curious tilt of her head, her very blue eyes scanning him with unabashed interest.

Feeling more than a little self-conscious at the intense scrutiny, Harry said, "Uh, I..." the words seemed to get stuck in his throat.

She stood, brushed her short purple skirt and smiled with gentle encouragement. "Do you need some help?"

Relieved at the opening, Harry nodded and kept his gaze on her eyes as he said, "Can you tell me where the hospital greenhouses are?"

The blonde girl's bright smile twisted into a grimace. "You're the new _gardener._ The one that Shizune-sempai was so fixed on bringing in without going through our interviews," she said, her pupil-less blue eyes narrowed in annoyed slits.

Harry nodded uneasily. "Shizune-san said I could work at the greenhouses."

If anything, her fierce blue eyes narrowed even further. "The Yamanaka have been taking good care of these plants since the Senju put them here. We don't need anyone telling us how to do our jobs."

Harry frowned. "What? I'm not here to..."

"So what if your plants are much healthier?" the blonde said, her voice rising. "It doesn't mean that you're better than us. We've been taking care of all sorts of plants for generations. Just because my father is away from the village at the moment, doesn't mean I can't handle the hospital's plants."

"I'm not," Harry tried to explain once again, struggling to stay polite.

But she was having none of it. "I bet you don't even know the first thing about working in a greenhouse. Like having to check the soil composition or..."

Considering Harry had to take classes and exams in greenhouses for the past five years, Harry had no problem interrupting her with a stronger and less polite voice, "Soil Ph, compaction, plant spacing and all those other important details, you mean?"

Unimpressed, the blonde proceeded to quiz him.

With each question she shot at him, Harry found it much easier to speak especially when he got the answers he needed by recalling Hermione's garish colour coded O.W.L revision charts.

And with each correct answer Harry gave, the blonde got even more annoyed at him. Harry was tempted to give a wrong answer just to make her stop, but he didn't want to lose to her.

"Well," she flicked her hair back with a careless ease after he had answered a question about water drainage. "At least you do know your basics." She sighed and turned away from him. "You could go to one of the smaller greenhouses we have. Fumiko-san is on leave and there aren't many people who can work on that greenhouse exclusively."

"Okay," Harry said.

She stared at him. "You're okay with that?"

Harry shrugged, "I'm here to work. Doesn't really matter where."

"Fine, I'll show you the greenhouse." She turned, her long ponytail swaying as walked forward. "The plants in there are healthy enough and don't need any specialized care. No hybrid..."

Harry tuned out most of her words as they walked through a small gap in the garden hedges that he hadn't noticed before. They passed four big greenhouses that had people working inside and finally stopped in front of a smaller greenhouse.

"Think you'll be able to handle this greenhouse by yourself?" She stood by the door and motioned at the plants inside. "I won't be able to spare the time to check on your work."

Harry just smiled at her and walked past her. "Thank you for showing me the way here, Yamanaka-san."

A huff and flutter by the door told him that the blonde had left. A quick check with the _**Homenum Revellio**_ spell confirmed that Harry was quite alone.

Harry walked around, looking for any plants that needed immediate help. When he found a thin drooping plant, Harry patted the soil beneath it and murmured, " _ **Herbivicus**_."

The colourless spell seeped deep down releasing the scent of rain-drenched soil. The plant perked up and it's overall colour brightened as Harry moved to the next plant.

-x-x-x-x-x-

On the roof of the building opposite the greenhouse, a masked watcher followed his target's movement with a much closer eye.

At the next plant, the normal looking plant straightened and it's leaves fanned out the moment the target touched the soil.

Even if it was a small change for the plant, there was only one known ability that could do such a thing.

But before he could report anything, he needed to gather as much information as possible. After that, the higher ups could deal with things as they saw fit.


	2. Alternate Job: Baker

**Summary** : Harry could cook. And with the help of a few spells, Harry could pretend to be much more skilled than he actually was. But Harry's skills are much too impressive to remain in Konoha.

* * *

"Not the right taste!" An angry man yelled as he slammed the wooden door open. "Don't lie! You just don't want to hire someone that's better than you."  
Considering the previous interviewee had left in a flurry of tears, Harry contemplated not going to the interview itself.

Before he could decide on his course of action, a gentle voice from the doorway said, "You're the last applicant." Clad in large red armour, the speaker bore purple lines on his cheeks and would have been quite intimidating if his kind eyes weren't so tired as he motioned Harry to enter.

With a careful grip on his box, Harry entered a plain room. Removing the cooling charms on the box, Harry placed it on the only table in the room and took a seat.

"I'm Chōza Akimichi," the man said, his voice still gentle as he sat opposite Harry.

"I'm Harii." Harry hesitated before he added, "I came to Konoha a few days ago. And the gate guards, Izumo and Kotetsu, were the ones who told me about this job."

Chōza nodded, "I had heard that they were sending someone over. But you can never tell when those two are being completely serious."  
After some polite small talk about how Harry was settling into Konoha, they moved to the real reason for their meeting.

"You've brought a sample of your cooking?" Chōza asked.

Harry nodded and opened the box to reveal a plain white cake inside.

Chōza stopped Harry from doing anything else and pulled the box closer. He leaned down with narrowed eyes and examined the cake for a long moment before he took it out of the box, examined it some more from every angle and then cut himself a generous serving.

He chewed each spoonful of cake with a thoughtful expression and when he finally cleared his plate, Chōza said, "Not too soft and not too dry. This is... perfect. " He looked at Harry with a serious expression and smiled with genuine pleasure. "You're hired!"

Considering the long string of spells he'd used on the cake batter and later while baking the cake itself, Harry felt a little torn about getting a job he didn't really want.

At the bakery the next morning, Chōza led Harry into a small clean kitchen and said, "Feel free to make anything you want to stock the shop outside before we open in the evening."

A quick check with the spell showed that the bakery and area around was empty. "Is this some sort of test?"

"Don't think that just because you're on your own here," Chōza said with a reassuring look. "We're just quite short-handed at the moment."

Harry nodded but mentally decided that it was definitely a test when Chōza left him alone.

Even with that thought, Harry couldn't help but relax in the small and empty kitchen as he baked. In fact, Harry felt so relaxed at not having any watchers that he experimented with his magic to decorate his cakes.

With a single spell he transformed the sugar into a clear syrup, shaped it as he desired and set it's final solid form on top of the cake with another spell.

On the second day, Chōza greeted Harry with a wide beaming smile as he motioned to the bakery's empty display case. "Your sugar decorations. They're wonderful and so unique. No one in Konoha has done such beautiful work," Chōza said. "People have actually placed orders."

By the sixth day of working in the bakery, Harry got sick of sugar flowers and instead experiment with making delicate sugar waves, koi fish like his grandmother's pendant and other things he hoped would lead the Uzumaki in Konoha straight to him.

As the rational part of him expected, that whimsical plan didn't work.

No red-headed Uzumaki demanded to see the person who was using vague Uzumaki-ish symbols as cake decorations.

Two weeks after he started his job, Harry absently mixed cake batter and contemplated the possibility of coloured sugar decorations.

"You!"

Harry started and turned. No one ever bothered him when he was in the kitchen.

Not even the Akimichi.

The interloper, a blond with an atrocious amount of orange in his outfit, moved forward with a strange desperation. "I need a cake that will make Sakura-chan fall in love with me."

Harry blinked, "Cakes don't do that."

Devastation filled the blond's eyes. "But... but I heard Sakura-chan talking about how romantic it would be to get a pretty cake from here."

Harry parsed out the blond's words with growing amusement and disbelief. "A romantic gift won't make someone fall in love with you either."

"Then what will?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I just make the cakes."

The blond's blue eyes widened. "You really made the cakes that everyone is talking about?All by yourself?" The words dripped with disbelief. "But, you're my age!" Before Harry could decide whether or not to be insulted, the blond clapped his hands with a look of epiphany. "You can teach me how to make a cake. And when I can make an awesome cake all by myself, Sakura-chan will be super impressed."

"I have too much to do here. I won't have the time to teach you," Harry said politely as he looked away from the boy's eager look.

"I can help you with your work," the blond said with determination.

"Have you made cakes before?" Harry asked.

The blond shook his head without shame and said, "But I will learn super fast. Plus I can help with the cleaning and measuring or anything you need so that you have the time to teach me."

"I can't pay you," Harry said.

"You don't have to give me money. Just teach me your cake making ways," the blond said with big pleading eyes. "Help me win over Sakura-chan. You won't regret it."

"I..." Harry hesitated, searching for the right words to reject the offer.

"Please." the blue eyes glimmered, on the verge of tears.

"One cake." Harry conceded and turned away from the bright pleading eyes in defeat. "That's it. And then you leave."

"Yes! You won't regret this, I swear." the blond whooped in delight and grabbed a bowl full of cake batter. "Do we have to use this to make the cake? Can we make a different colour instead?"

Harry grabbed the bowl from the blond's energetic hands. "Maybe we should start with introductions before the cake making."

"Ah, right," the blond looked sheepish but smiled. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto."

The bowl in Harry's hand clattered down to the floor, splattering cake batter everywhere. "But you're blond."

Naruto blinked in confusion.

"Our clan is supposed to have red hair. I... came to Konoha searching for a red-haired Uzumaki."

Naruto's confusion had morphed into an emotion that Harry didn't have the heart to keep looking at.

After a visit to the Hokage, a brief house arrest and the revelation that they were in fact related, Harry returned to the bakery wondering how to approach his newly found relative only to find Naruto already waiting and looking every bit as awkward as Harry felt.

"You, uh, didn't teach me how to make that cake," Naruto said.

Harry stared at him. "You still want to learn?"

"I'm an Uzumaki too," Naruto said, his voice faltering faintly with emotion. "I should know how to make a cake."

Harry snorted in amusement. "The Uzumaki weren't bakers."

"But..."

"I am a baker. The clan," Harry got his amusement under control at the sobering subject. "The clan had people who did a lot of different things."

"Oh," Naruto said as though he hadn't expected that.

They lapsed into a long moment of silence before Harry said, "But there's nothing wrong with learning how to make a cake. It's... an essential skill."

Naruto perked up and nodded eagerly. "It is."

Harry smiled in response. "Maybe we can even think of something that will impress your Sakura-chan."

With the help of Naruto and his numerous clones, Harry's cake making reached new heights. Business boomed and the Akimichi entrusted Harry with more work.

Work that he hadn't ever expected to get.

"I can't believe you're working solo for such a huge event," Kotetsu said as he put some meat on the grill. "You've impressed the Akimichi a lot if they're giving you such an important job after about three weeks of working with them."

"It's been years since Konoha has had such a big feast." Izumo gulped down his drink and added, "But I guess having the Daimyo's son visit is a good reason to celebrate."

"As if I wasn't overwhelmed already," Harry said and slumped down into his seat, his eyes fixed on the still sizzling meat as it let out a mouth-watering aroma.

"It's okay to be intimidated by the guest list," Izumo said. "But this as an opportunity for you. When you impress the right people, you can get your own bakery instead of having to work for the Akimichi."

"That's not going to happen," Harry said, eyes still on the grill.

"I've eaten your cake. Trust me, it'll happen," Izumo said with confidence as he piled the cooked meat on Harry's plate.

"What's the Daimyo's son like?" Harry asked in between ravenous bites. "Any information I need to know? Allergies, favourite flavours, anything?"

Izumo scratched his chin thoughtfully. "This one is the nicest of all the Daimyo's children. Not too picky from what I've heard."

"He's a noble," Kotetsu said. "Anything classy should make him happy."

"But it wouldn't be bad to make a lasting impression on him," Izumo reminded Harry with a meaningful tone even as he refilled Harry's empty plate. "Think of making something that no one has ever seen before."

It took days of fretting for Harry to come up with an idea. And it took even more days of tireless experimenting, even with the help of his magic and Naruto's clones, for Harry to prepare his final product.

"Thanks for helping out," Harry said, as they made their way to the lit up venue grounds.

"No need to keep thanking me, Nii-san," Naruto said. "Of course, I'd help out. This is a huge thing for you."

"Don't take Izumo's words so seriously. It's just a job," Harry said, more to reassure himself than anything else.

"But you spent forever making this cake," Naruto said and motioned to the numerous clones behind them carrying carious boxes. "You even got me this fancy kimono."

"You don't like it?"

"It's nice. It's just weird to wear something so expensive." Naruto straightened his dark blue kimono with a self-conscious look. "I've never worn silk before."

Harry straightened his own formal kimono reflexively. "It's just for tonight."

"Still feels weird."

"Well, well, you two look fancy even if you are cutting it close with your timing," Kotetsu said from his post at the venue's gated entrance.

Izumo glanced at the clones trailing behind them. "That's all for the cake?"

Harry nodded.

"I can't believe we're missing it," Kotetsu said with a sigh. "And you didn't even give us a peek at what you were..."

"Go through there," Izumo interrupted Kotetsu and pointed them to a hidden path. "It leads directly to the hall you need to set up in. The Hyuuga's music

performance just started outside, so you'll have at least half an hour."

In a curtained off section of the hall, Harry directed Naruto and his clones with growing nervousness and anticipation. The clones worked with quick gentle movements as they stacked the numerous layers of cake and decorations.

Half an hour passed in a blur of activity and they placed the finished touches just as the sounds of people entering the hall reached them through the curtain.

Naruto stared at the towering cake topped with a multitude of crystalline sugar birds and flowers. "I didn't think a cake could look so awesome."

Harry grinned but muttered a spell to brighten the already vibrant colour of a sugar bird as Chōza's voice filled the hall. "Let's hope it impresses the Daimyo's son."

"He'd be stupid not to like it," Naruto said with a firm tone, looking ready to punch anyone who didn't agree.

From the other side of the curtain, Chōza's voice boomed. "In addition to the food we've laid out here, we have also prepared another surprise for our honoured guest."

"That's our cue," Harry whispered and straightened his kimono once again.

The curtain dropped.

Open-mouthed awe, eyes wide with wonder and various stunned exclamations turned into a roaring round of applause.

"See, they like it," Naruto said, voice delighted.

"Yes," Harry cleared his throat, stunned at the crowd's response. "I think they do."

Harry was still stunned by the response to his creation when he stood in the Hokage's busy office two days after the big event.

"... his beloved son's words, the Daimyo believes that such a skilled baker would thrive in his court where his skills will be appreciated to the fullest," the messenger ended with a flourish.

Harry looked from the serious kimono clad messenger to the amused Hokage and finally to a cautious Chōza before he said, "I already work for Akimichi-san."

The ninja with the long blond ponytail who stood beside Chōza coughed.

Unfazed, the messenger said, "The Daimyo knows of this and is willing to give the Akimichi clan due compensation." He pulled out another scroll from his sleeve and read, "In exchange for their most skilled worker, the Daimyo will gift the Akimichi clan with the untouched land of Emerald Forest."

Chōza gaped.

"The Daimyo will also gift the Akimichi clan with a herd of his most prized cattle as well as the Ash Grasslands as grazing grounds for the herd." The messenger said, "Are these terms acceptable?"

Harry shrugged. "Depends on Akimichi-san."

The scarred man with the black spiky ponytail elbowed the still gaping Chōza with a pointed look.

Chōza cleared his throat and said, "If Harii-kun wishes to work at the Daimyo's court then I have no objection."

Everyone turned to Harry.

"I'll have to think about it," Harry said after a moment.

Everyone in the room, other than the messenger and the Hokage, let out varying sounds of disbelief.

The messenger nodded and said, "The Daimyo has allowed for at least a week before the final answer has been received."

Harry nodded while the others were still locked in disbelief at the situation. "I'll give you an answer later then." Then he turned to the Hokage. "If that's all, I have to go back and finish my work for the day."

The Hokage's amusement was much more pronounced as she dismissed him.

When Naruto heard the news later that day, he was beyond ecstatic. "I've never been to the Daimyo's place before," Naruto said, his wide blue eyes filled with wonder. "And to think we'll be living there and making cakes for the Daimyo himself."

Harry concentrated on smoothing out the frosting on a circular cake. "You do realize that we won't actually be going together if I decide to take the offer."

"Nii-san," Naruto waited until Harry looked up before he continued, "You can't go and have fun on your own." He pointed to the clones that were mixing, baking and cleaning around them. "My clones are super important for the big cakes, right? Unless... you don't want me there with you."

Harry couldn't help but ask. "You want me to go work for the Daimyo?"

"Why wouldn't you want to go work for him?" Naruto countered with confusion. "You'll be famous. _Everyone_ will know who you are."

Harry frowned with distaste at the thought of fame. "I definitely shouldn't accept the position."

A month later, Harry accepted that working in the Daimyo's castle wasn't as bad as he had feared. Where he had expected outrageous demands, the Daimyo had been happy with simple designs and easy flavors. Harry actually had a lot more time on his hands for things other than cake making.

Things like reading all the books he wanted, sleeping in a luxurious room and avoiding the growing number of people who wanted to talk to him.

"Surely you can't be comfortable up there," a voice called out.

Harry started as he recognized the speaker, jumped down from the tree branch he had been sitting on and bowed low. "My Lord."

The Daimyo huffed and waved his gold-handled fan with a roll of his eyes. "I told you not to be so formal outside of court, Harii-kun. It's so dull."

"Right," Harry said as he straightened.

"Who are you hiding from today?" The Daimyo asked, clear amusement curling his lip.

Harry twitched and looked around carefully. "Otose has been trying to talk to me."

"Ah," the Daimyo nodded with understanding and sympathy. "He's trying to get you to tell me about the property tax policy he wants implemented. What a tedious man."

"I wish people would stop bothering me with these things," Harry said with a frown.

"I imagine he's like everyone else in thinking that you will be able to sway me to their way of thinking," the Daimyo said with a solemn nod. "Especially since you saved my grandson's life."

"I just make cakes," Harry said, repeating what he had taken to telling everyone who wanted to talk to him. "And your grandson wasn't in any real danger. The guards would have saved him without my help."

"But you made their job much easier by trapping the kidnappers with all that cake batter." The Daimyo took on a thoughtful look. "It's a shame your cousin's clones disappear. I'm sure the Akimichi would consent to send you a full-time guard if you demanded."

"I don't need a guard."

"If you had a full time bodyguard, no one would dare to bother you as often as they seem to do now. If you don't want the Akimichi," He glanced at his own silent guards.

"No," Harry said, already knowing where the Daimyo's thoughts were turning to.

"You don't know what I was going to suggest," the Daimyo said.

"The Twelve Guardians are meant to protect you and your family," Harry said.

"There's a simple remedy that will let you to gain this necessary benefit."

"I'm a baker," Harry pointed out with a touch of desperation. "I can't marry anyone from your family."

"You're an Uzumaki," the Daimyo countered without hesitation. "My predecessors were always keen to have a Senju enter the family. The Uzumaki were too difficult a connection to obtain. If not you, then maybe your cousin..."

Harry stared at the Daimyo with a bland expression.

"I can think of so many others would have been eager to accept such a proposal." The Daimyo sighed and motioned for Harry to follow him. "But I suppose that's what makes you unique, Harii-kun. Very well, let's talk about more important matters. For today's cake, I was thinking..."


	3. Alternate Job: Bartender

**Summary** : Harry doesn't know a thing about owning a bar or being a bartender. But he comes to realize that maybe, it was the best job he could have ever gotten.

* * *

"I didn't know that Soma hired anyone so young," the new customer said, his brow furrowed as he looked around before sitting at a corner of the bar instead of taking a table like everyone else did. "You must have impressed him."

Intrigued by the man's watchful demeanour, Harry discreetly took in the metal headgear that framed the man's face and the flash of metal mesh under the man's long sleeves. Topping up the last glass with amber liquid, Harry pushed the tray to the waitress and turned to his first ninja customer, "Actually, I'm the bar's new owner. What can I get you?"

The ninja stared for a long moment before he shrugged. "Anything that will silence the bad memories for a while."

Harry couldn't help feeling sympathetic. "I've got just the thing." Scanning the lit up shelves behind him, Harry bypassed the bright alcohol bottles- the crystalline blues, the blood reds and even the glittering black ones- and grabbed an unlabelled bottle filled with dark purple. The strong berry smell that wafted up as he filled a glass reassured Harry that he had gotten the right bottle.

His ninja customer eyed the purple drink that Harry had placed in front of him. "What's this called?"

"It doesn't have a name yet."

Instead of the wariness that Harry had expected, the ninja downed the drink without hesitation. "That was good."

"I had a lot of trouble making that one," Harry said, his manner easing as he filled another tray and handed it to the only waitress who worked at the bar.

"You made it?" the ninja said, leaning forward.

Harry nodded. It had taken a lot of work. He'd used a judicious mix of spells and even a few steps of potion making to feed the ruse that he was interested in the bar business.

It had been sheer luck- Harry couldn't decide if it was bad or good- that got him ownership of the rundown bar soon after entering Konoha about a month ago.

Sheer stubbornness and a lack of anything else to do had forced Harry to clean, fix and even tinker with the alcohol brewing machinery in the basement. Seamus' long ramblings had given Harry a basic guideline of what good alcohol should be. A little creativity and a lot of magic had given Harry everything he needed to reopen the bar within two weeks of buying it.

"Soma never had that many alcohol bottles back there."

Even though it was just a statement, Harry felt the need to make his customer comfortable. "I changed things up when I took over. Seemed like a shame to keep the shelves dark and empty." Harry said, "With the new lights I had put in, the entire thing adds a lot of colour to this place now."

The ninja nodded, looking at the shelves for a moment before turning his empty glass. "I think I'll have the whole bottle of this."

The previous owner had been very honest about the lack of customers- especially high paying ninja customers. So Harry hadn't been disappointed by the civilians who had visited his bar over the past two weeks. They'd actually kept Harry busy enough that he'd had to hire a waitress.

But having his first ninja customer wasn't quite as exciting as he had expected it to be.

Harry placed the bottle of deep purple alcohol in front of the ninja and turned to fill the orders that the waitress had brought back.

When he'd reached the bottom of the bottle, the ninja spoke again. "I don't drink a lot," he said, "Not often. Only once in a while at most."

"Seems like the smart thing to do."

The ninja shook his head. "It's not _normal_. Everyone else, they drink more often. With other people. Their friends."

Unsure if the ninja actually wanted advice or was just venting at him, Harry said, "You should do what you're comfortable with. There's no need to force yourself to be like everyone else."

"But I'm missing out on the social aspect of drinking."

"Drunken ramblings?" Harry asked in confusion. "You want that?"

"The camaraderie of drinking together," the man said with a sigh. "I don't have any drinking buddies and no one will want me as one because they know I'm not drinking buddy material."

"Maybe," Harry waited until the ninja looked up from the empty glass before he continued, "You should be the one who invites other people to go drinking with you."

"No one will want to drink with me."

"You'll never know if you don't ask," Harry said. He motioned to the shelf behind him. "Anything else I can get you?"

The ninja pointed to his empty bottle. "I'll have another one. The taste suits my mood."

It was a whole month before before the ninja returned to the bar.

Only this time he wasn't alone.

"Captain Yamato, I do not drink," a pale skinned teenager said, his black eyes darting around the bar.

Yamato greeted Harry with a nod, his metal headgear glinting in the newly installed lighting above the bar. "You do now. We're going to drink together and figure out how to become normal drinking buddies."

"You could just find a book in the library instead of drinking in this strange place."

Considering the amount of time, money and magic Harry and put in to fix up the place, he didn't care for that careless remark. Focusing on Yamato, Harry said, "Same as last time?"

"No," Yamato shook his head as he sat down in the same spot as his previous visit. "I'm in a different mood today."

Harry scanned his shelf and grabbed a bottle filled with an amber alcohol. He filled up two glasses and put it in front of them. "You can start with this one. Less alcoholic and more flavourful."

The pale one beside Yamato sniffed at his glass and said, "I do not recognize this alcohol."

"You won't," Harry said with a touch of pride. "I made all the brews on these shelves."

"Sai, just drink," Yamato said, his expression turning stern. "You want to learn social interactions that come along with drinking, don't you?"

"None of team seven drink," Sai said, not touching his glass.

"Not yet," Yamato said, a tone of determination filling his voice and demeanour.

"Alcohol dependence is not healthy," Sai pointed out.

"I'm not making anyone an alcoholic, Sai," Yamato said with a sigh. He looked up at Harry with a pleading look. "Tell him."

Harry blinked at the man and shrugged in question.

"Tell him about how this is the perfect chance to socialize with people."

Harry stared at the man for a long moment before he turned to the pale teen, "It is a way to socialize. But you can also socialize without alcohol."

Yamato frowned.

Sai frowned as well. "What can I use then?"

"You could just talk about things you have in common," Harry said as he filled up a tray of drinks.

Sai considered that for a moment. "The thing we have in common would be... Sasuke? But if I start talking about him, they'll just get depressed."

Harry stared at the pale boy with disbelief, "Then maybe you should talk about things you have in common that aren't so depressing."

Sai tilted his head like that was a novel new idea. "But I don't have anything like that."

Yamato interrupted, "Which is why you need to bring them here. Over drinks you can find some sort of common ground. Like we're doing right now."

Harry huffed. No one would believe that.

"I'll bring them here tomorrow," Sai said as he picked up his glass. "And then you can help us talk to each other." He gulped down his drink with closed eyes.

Yamato looked delighted.

True to his word, Sai returned the very next night with two teenagers- a blond male and a pink-haired female. As he sat at the bar, Sai said, "I'm back."

"I can see that." Harry said with a smile. "Would you like the same as yesterday?"

Sai considered the question for a moment. "I don't know."

Harry glanced at the three teens as they sat together, and said, "Tell you what, I'll pick out three different flavours for each of you. And then you three can compare flavours to figure out which one is the best."

While his two friends seemed sceptical, Sai leaned forward with interest and said, "Compare flavours?"

Harry turned to the shelves behind him and picked three very different bottles. For the blond, Harry poured a dark red that looked almost black in the bar's soft lighting. For the sole female, he poured out a cheerful orange liquid and finally for Sai, he poured out a drink that was somewhere between blue and green.

"Are you sure you got these right?" the blond asked, looking at his dark drink with apprehension.

"Definitely," Harry said. "If you drink and don't like them then they're on the house. Come on now, make a toast and drink together."

"A toast," Sai said, the confusion easy to hear in his voice.

The other two didn't look any better.

Feeling bad for them as the silence grew, Harry suggested, "How about a toast to you three going out more often together."

Sai raised his glass with hesitation.

After sharing a look, the other two clinked their glasses against his awkwardly and downed their drinks in one go.

Their wary expressions turned into expressions of wide eyed surprise and delight.

"That was awesome!" the blond said, looking at his empty glass as though searching for more to drink.

The pink-haired girl nodded. "I wouldn't have chosen it myself because of how it looks but it just felt perfect. I didn't know an alcoholic drink could be so nice."

Sai's lips were curled in a soft content smile.

"Is that a... smile?" the blond asked with something like surprise. He glanced at the girl and said, "Is he a lightweight?"

"Naruto!" the girl berated him with narrowed eyes.

Amused at their interactions, Harry put the swirling green and blue alcohol bottle in front of them. "Maybe you'd like to taste what he had?" Then he moved to the other side of the bar where the waitress listed a whole batch of orders from the tables.

After completing the orders for the waitress, Harry turned to check on the trio. "I see you enjoyed that," Harry said, taking the empty bottle.

The blond, Naruto, looked at Harry with bright eyes, "Sakura-chan keeps saying that she could taste mint in it. But no matter how much I drank, I didn't taste any mint."

Sai interrupted and said, "I told them it wasn't mint. It's the grass from the swamps."

"You're all wrong." Harry held up the other two bottles and said, "Should I get you another one of the same, or do you want to try one of these?"

Sai grabbed both bottles from Harry's hands. "I will identify the ingredients of both of these drinks."

Sakura, the girl of the group, looked torn between being concerned and disapproving. "I have a morning shift in the hospital."

Sai looked at her and nodded, "I'll drink your share."

Sakura huffed. "You don't have to drink my share," she said as she grabbed the bottle of orange liquor from him and poured herself a glass.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto said as he held up his own empty glass. "Don't be stingy."

Sakura filled his glass to the brim with the orange liquid and did the same for Sai. They all shared a look, clinked their glasses together with synchronized ease and downed their drinks like veteran drinkers.

"There's no citrus in this," Naruto said, sounding deeply betrayed.

Sakura nodded, already pouring herself another glass full. "That's the reason it's so good."

With his eyes closed, Sai swished the drink around in his mouth for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes he said, "This one has the grass from swamp."

Harry shook his head with a bit of amusement. "No swamp grass."

Naruto huffed and prodded Sai's shoulder. "What is with you and swamp grass?"

Sai frowned. "Swamps have all sorts of unique grass that haven't been studied completely. People are always finding new uses for them. It's not too strange for someone to have found a use that involved making alcohol because alcohol creation is an innovative art."

Naruto stared at Sai for a long moment before he grabbed the bottle and filled Sai's glass to the brim. "Have another sip."

Sai complied without any hesitation.

When Harry checked on the three of them after dealing with a few issues around the bar, they were in the middle of a serious expression.

"... dreams are not impossible," Naruto said to Sai with a sage like nod of his head. "So it's not a bad things to have a dream, Sai."

Sai didn't say a word, he just nodded back.

"Tell him Sakura-chan," Naruto said with a pleading expression on his face.

Sakura rolled her eyes as she sipped on her dark red drink, "He knows Naruto but you need to give him some time to think about it. He can't just come up with a dream on the spot without thinking about it."

"But everyone has a dream deep inside them, Sakura-chan," Naruto said. "You don't have to think too much to find it." He turned to Harry with bright eyes and said, "What about you?"

Harry stared at the blond in confusion.

"What's your dream?" Naruto said as he filled up his glass.

"Dream?" Harry contemplated not answering but he said, "I suppose, I want to find my family."

"See, he has a dream and..." Naruto quietened and looked at Harry with considering eyes. "What happened to them?"

"I don't know," Harry said with a shrug as he pulled out another orange bottle from the shelf and placed it in front of them.

Naruto leaned forward with concern. "How can you not know?"

"It's more like I don't know if I have any living family that I can find and uh, are you all right?"

"I will help you," Naruto said, the sharp smell of alcohol noticeable on his breath as his blue eyes watered. "No, team seven will help you find your family!" He turned to the other two and said, "Right?"

Before either of them could reply Harry said, "Thanks, but you don't have to. I..."

"We're going to find your family for you!" Naruto narrowed his eyes at Harry. "Black hair and green eyes. That combination shouldn't be hard to find."

"Actually, I took after my father's side," Harry said, seeing no harm in indulging the obviously drunk blond. " I'm searching for my mother's family who have red hair.

Naruto nodded as though he had expected that new piece of information. "Red hair is pretty rare to find in Konoha. Are they definitely for sure supposed to be here in Konoha?"

"Well..."

Naruto interrupted him, "Because I know a redhead that lives in Suna."

Sakura huffed. "No Naruto, it can't be Gaara."

"How do you know?" Naruto countered, voice rising to a whine. "Temari and Kankuro don't have the red hair but they are all siblings. So why can't he and Gaara be related?"

"I know the answer to this," Sai said with pride in his voice. "It's because you shouldn't get his hopes high, right?" He turned to Sakura.

Sakura sighed. "Something like that."

Harry smiled at them. "Suna might be next on my search list I suppose. But for now, I'm going to stick to Konoha because I heard news about a potential family member living here."

Naruto looked at Harry with a serious frown. "But I don't know any red heads who live here."

"They also could have inherited their looks from the other side of their family," Sakura suggested in between sips. "So his relatives could have any sort of colouring."

"That sucks," Naruto said with a frown and slapped his hand against the wooden bar surface. "But as a future Hokage, I won't let something like this get in my way. I'm going to find your red head relative person right now." With a cross of his fingers, multiple replicas of Naruto appeared behind him and ran out of the bar with determined yells.

Sakura groaned but poured herself and Sai more alcohol. "You could have asked for his family name. That would make searching easier, you know."

"Right," Naruto said. "Do you have anything else other than red hair that might be helpful in finding your family?"

Seeing no harm in sharing more information, Harry shrugged. "The family name is Uzumaki."

"That's funny," Naruto chuckled as he downed another glass. "I'm an Uzumaki."


	4. An Undead Horde

**Summary** : Harry's job in Suna takes an unexpected turn.

* * *

Cramming down the last of his crunchy seaweed snack, Harry gathered his magic for a _Reparo_ spell and aimed at the crack still visible on the newly repaired doll's neck.

His magic washed out onto the doll, the hairline crack glowed but remained even after the magic vanished.

Frowning, Harry aimed another _Reparo_ spell at the crack.

The persistent crack remained even after another five _Reparo_ spells.

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Harry tugged his wand out of its holster and gathered a chunk of magic. "Reparo!"

His fingers tingled, his wand buzzed with warmth and a wave of magic shot out to his target.

The crack glowed, rippled and smoothed out.

His magic lingered around the doll as a visible glow before it dissipated through the doll and into the air with an audible shock-wave.

The doll's smooth surface rippled, bulged and shifted into a dark leathery surface. The transformation continued until the entire doll had rough leathery skin.

Within seconds, under another ripple of his magic, every other doll in the room gained the dark leathery skin as a thick smell of rot filled the room.

Wary, Harry kept a tight grip on his wand as the last of his lingering magic sank down into the lifeless dolls.

To Harry's horror, the glassy eyes darkened with life and swivelled around in their sockets until all the dolls- no, the humanoid creatures now- blinked and turned to stare at Harry as one.

Wand still in hand, Harry physically stopped himself from firing a barrage of spells at the creatures that stared at Harry.

As minutes passed, Harry glanced at the door, wondering if he needed to break out of this place.

One of the creatures turned to the door, opened it's mouth grotesquely wide and spat out a large orange fireball.

The door exploded outward in splinters creating a large hole.

Harry flinched back as the red spell he'd cast in reflex sank down into the creature harmlessly instead of damaging it.

As one, the creatures moved and blocked Harry from the exit completely.

"Harii," Shikamaru's voice, higher than his usual nonchalant tone, came in.

Harry wished he had a clear line of sight so that he could see Shikamaru.

As if in answer to his thoughts, the creatures moved, creating a tiny line of sight to the blown up entrance.

Shikamaru stood beside Kankuro and another person that Harry had only met once- Gaara.

"I don't think the papers I signed covered this scenario," Harry said with a rueful smile.

"How did you manage _this_?" Kankuro asked, shaking his head.

"I was trying to be an overachiever," Harry said blandly. "I've learnt my lesson and promise to be as average as possible from now on. So please, help me."

Gaara tilted his face and narrowed his eyes.

A trickle of glittering sand rose up into the air and curled around one of the creatures.

All the creatures stood unmoving in the face of the blatant attack.

In the next instant, more sand rushed forward and engulfed the entire creature with a swift hand motion from Gaara. With another signal, an almost violent squeeze of his fist, the sand mimicked his gesture and squeezed.

Flesh squelched under the onslaught and black stained the sand for an instant before vaporizing into thick black fumes that floated towards the open hole.

The sand fell off a mangled mass of dark rotting flesh that spouted even more noxious fumes in the air.

Harry gasped as his magic swirled out.

"Harii?" Shikamaru called out amidst coughs, as a shimmering barrier appeared at the entrance and the creatures moved to close Harry's line of sight to the entrance.

The mangled flesh expanded and smoothed out till the creature regained it's previous form.

"It fixed itself," Harry said, raising his voice and faintly noting that the fumes had no effect on him. "Using my... power."

Shikamaru cursed. "A connection?"

"Looks like it," Kankuro said. "Even though I have no idea how such a connection was made in the first place."

"I don't understand why this happened," Harry said with a shake of his head. "I was just fixing these dolls and then this."

After a moment of thick silence, Shikamaru said, "They weren't just dolls, Harii. They were human puppets."

Harry swallowed his apprehension. "By that, do you mean..."

"Humans who were turned into puppets," Kankuro supplied with a careless tone.

Pushing away the sudden onslaught of memories from the temple, Harry took a deep steadying breath as the three ninja debated possible options amongst themselves.

"Harii," Shikamaru called out from the entrance. "Is there any way for you to break the connection? Anything you can try?"

"I have something," Harry admitted, feeling dumb for not having thought of it sooner. Glad to be hidden from the others, Harry waved his hand and murmured the _Finite Incantatem_ spell. "Nothing happened," Harry said out loud.

"You need to stay in here," Shikamaru said, his voice apologetic. "Until we figure out what's going on."

Harry wanted to argue. But he couldn't think of a single argument while he was surrounded by the horde of dead. "Right."

"This brings a whole new level to having puppets working for you," Kankuro said with something like a grimace.

"How many of them are in here?" Shikamaru asked.

"Every one that I fixed," Harry said.

"And how many was that?"

"All of them," Harry said with a groan.

At least the answering groan showed that he wasn't the only one to realize just how bad the situation was.

After they left, Harry moved away from the still standing puppet till he was in a corner of the lab and pulled out his mirror.

Something of his desperation must have been obvious because the moment he called, Hermione's face appeared in the mirror with a tired but worried expression in her eyes. Not even waiting for a greeting, Harry explained everything as best as he could.

"So basically, reanimated corpses?" Hermione said with wide eyes as he caught his breath.

"Looks like it."

"Harry," Hermione said slowly, as though she didn't want to continue. "What you're describing is an Inferi."

"A what?"

"They're products of necromancy, puppets used by dark wizards to do their bidding. These undead have immense strength and can kill a human with ease."

Harry made a weak sound. "Oh."

"There is a way to destroy them," Hermione said. "No Inferi is impervious to burning."

"I need to burn them?" Harry said with disgust.

"If you want to get rid of them, yes."

Harry considered this for an entire minute before he slumped. "There's a problem with that. They're using my magic to repair themselves from any damage."

"They're doing what?" Hermione asked with wide eyes. She blinked, "Well, that's, I suppose..."

"Hermione?"

"I don't think Inferi can do that," she said weakly.

Harry groaned. "Are you sure?"

"Necromancy isn't exactly a popular topic of discussion Harry," Hermione said with a frown. "I've never really considered looking into it but... what you've managed to do intrigues me. Especially since you've managed necromancy with only a Reparo."

"I didn't know it was a human puppet!" Harry defended himself. "I thought the Reparo wasn't supposed to work on humans."

"On living beings," Hermione corrected even as she looked lost in thought, as though working out a puzzle.

Seeing that he wouldn't get anything useful out of her, Harry said his goodbyes and looked around. "A necromancer," he said with disbelieving laugh. "Hermione's being ridiculous. You're hardly doing my bidding." Harry told the room at large. "And even if you did, what could I possibly ask you lot to do? Get me snacks?"

A puppet moved, tore open the snack cupboard and grabbed an armful of snacks.

Staring at the snacks offered by the leathery arms, Harry sighed even as he grabbed a packet of seaweed crisps. "A necromancer it is, then."

Hours later when Shikamaru showed up, he stood unmoving at the entrance and stared. "They're sitting."

Harry nodded. "They listen to verbal commands."

Shikamaru tilted his head and glanced at the puppet nearest to him. "Stand." When the puppet didn't react, he sighed with relief. "So they only listen to you."

"More tea," Harry told the puppet in front of him.

Shikamaru twitched. "They make tea? You asked them to make tea?"

"It took a few tries to get it right," Harry said.

"You're taking this fairly well," Shikamaru said, still not taking a step inside.

Harry snorted. "I asked them to make tea, Shikamaru. I asked the puppets to make me tea. And they did. I have twenty three puppets who will do my bidding even if I'm just bidding them to make tea and bring me snacks."

"So," Shikamaru said. "Not taking this well at all."

"No," Harry said as he took his cup of tea from the puppet. "What's Suna going to do?"

"They'll want the puppets," Shikamaru said. "They're Suna property even though they've changed."

"They're welcome to take them," Harry offered.

"I doubt they'll get any use out of the them though," Shikamaru said. "Without you, these things are useless."

Harry sipped on his tea and stared at Shikamaru. "Are they going to keep me here too?"

"They," Shikamaru hesitated but then straightened. "Even if they try, you have twenty three puppets to do your bidding."

"Are you telling me I'll need to fight my way out of Suna?"

"No! I'm just saying it's an option if things take a turn for the worst," Shikamaru said, "I've got to go back to the meeting. You're going to be okay here?"

"I'll manage," Harry said

With Shikamaru's ominous words ringing in his head, Harry waited with bated breath as Gaara and Kakuro came by a few hours later.

"They're going to test and see if the puppets really can't be taken away from you," Shikamaru explained from beside the two Suna ninja.

Harry watched them try and fail to make the puppets do anything without Harry's permission. After the tenth test, Harry sighed, "How am I going to explain this to Naruto?"

The Suna ninja stilled in their testing.

"Naruto?" Gaara asked with a tilt of his head.

"My cousin," Harry explained, "who's not going to like any of this."

"When you say Naruto," Kankuro said, glancing at Shikamaru.

"Ah, didn't I tell you? Harii is Uzumaki Naruto's cousin."

"I see," Gaara said, his eyes turning to Harry with an even more intense look.

Harry perked up. "You two know Naruto?"

Kankuro snorted. "Who doesn't know that twerp?"

Harry frowned in disapproval, ready to defend his cousin, but Gaara said, "Naruto is my friend."

Kankuro sighed. "What are we going to do now?"

Two weeks later when he was back in the familiar confines of his Konoha apartment, Harry tossed a small scroll to Naruto. "Here's your present. If you ever get in trouble, summon them and they'll help you."

Naruto blinked in confusion as he unrolled the scroll and squinted at the intricate seal array. "They?"

"You'll see when you summon them. Just remember that they're there to protect you and everything will be fine," Harry said. "Now come on, let's eat. I'm starving."

Without hesitation, Naruto put the scroll in his pouch and Harry was more than happy to forget about it.

"What is it?" Shikaku asked three days later, with a raised eyebrow as he put his tea cup down.

Noting the sudden drain of his magic, Harry sighed. "Naruto has gotten into a dangerous fight." He moved his hand down and placed his Shogi piece on the board.

True to his words, the moment Naruto entered the apartment that night, he said, "Nii-san, they were creepy."

"But they protected you, right?"

Naruto grimaced as he sat down next to Harry. "What are they? Sakura-chan said that they looked like the puppets she fought."

"They probably are," Harry admitted as he turned the page of his book. "Things went a bit wrong when I went to Suna to fix them."

"But," Naruto gaped. "Those puppets were..."

Harry looked up, glad to finally have someone understand the horror of the entire situation. "Exactly. Human puppets. Who ever heard of such a thing? That's why they've now become _Inferi_ that I've accidentally resurrected. And Hermione thinks I've gone on the dark path and instead of keeping me off it, she's looking into it. And Ron? He thinks it's the most hilarious thing to happen to me. Becoming a necromancer with a _Reparo_ spell. How is that funny? It's not and..."

A snore interrupted his rant.

Harry sighed even as he pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and placed it on his sleeping cousin. "Why is no one concerned about the necromancy?"


	5. Wishful Thinking: Uzumaki Dinner Table

**Summary** : Nobody dies and everyone is happy. Except for the cranky old ghost in the corner.

* * *

"Did you two go out and watch that ridiculous movie again?"

Naruto pouted even as he raced forward with open arms. "It's not ridiculous, nee-san."

Harry nodded alongside his cousin. "You liked it too."

"That was the first time I saw it," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes as she pulled Naruto into a hug. "Even Ron got sick of watching it after the eight time. Why is it still in theatres, anyway?"

"It gets better with every watch," Harry said, unwilling to let his favourite movie get slandered by his best friend. "Ron would have come with us if he didn't have a cold from travelling here."

"Stupid boys," Hermione said even as she hugged Harry tight.

"Stupid boys?" An gruff voice said, amusement lacing every word. "What did you two do to Hermione to make her say that already?"

"Nee-san's mad we didn't take her to the movies with us." Naruto grinned and latched onto the newcomer's back like an overgrown monkey. "Did you bring me a gift?"

Sirius shifted into his grim form, licked Naruto's face and escaped from the blond's grip. Shifting back into human form beside Harry, Sirius straightened his jacket and flicked back his long hair, "Do I look like Jiraiya? Of course, I brought you a gift. It's in your room as always." Draping an arm around Harry's shoulders, Sirius pulled him into a half hug. "Why don't you ever greet me like that?"

Harry glanced up into grey eyes. "Would I get an awesome gift if I do?"

"Yes! You'd get the most wonderful gift of all. A real hug from me."

"No thanks. I don't want to smell like dog."

"In that case," Sirius grinned as he shifted back into his animagus form.

Harry ran. He managed to escape for a grand total of five minutes before the large black grim knocked him down with a triumphant howl. Harry laughed even as struggled to get out from under the large dog.

Not letting up an inch, the grim licked Harry's face leaving a slimy trail of drool.

Turning to the loud laughter coming from the sidelines, Harry yelled, "A little help, please."

"I'm going to go set the table," Hermione said with a snicker.

"Sorry nii-san," Naruto said, not sounding sorry at all. "I don't want any more dog drool on me. But..."

Bright multicoloured fireworks exploded high above them and drowned out the rest of his words.

"James! Kushina!" An irritated voice yelled, as soon as the fireworks finished. Standing at the front door with her bright green apron that read 'Run', Lily narrowed her eyes at the two soot covered culprits who had appeared. "We agreed to leave the fireworks for after dinner!"

"I thought you hid them," Minato said, standing beside Lily, his bright blue apron's white designs changing into text that read 'Danger'.

"I did." Lily frowned. "Where did you two get these fireworks from?"

"Sirius," Kushina and James said together.

Sirius rubbed his ears. "I didn't tell them to light the fireworks that Remus sent! I gave it to them to put away so that I could meet the kids."

Lily's eyes glowed and the air crackled with magic. "You two..."

"Now, now, Lily, I'm sure we can settle this without any violence." Minato smiled as the 'Danger' text on his apron grew larger.

Lily kept a firm grip on her wand, not looking the least bit appeased. "They probably woke Ron up."

"Why don't you go check on him and I'll deal with these two."

Eyes still narrowed, Lily nodded and went back inside.

Minato, still smiling, turned to everyone else. "The rest of you, get cleaned up for dinner while we have a chat."

By the time Harry cleaned up and entered the dining room, the table was crowded with food and people. Nodding a hasty greeting to Akira, Harry grabbed an open seat just as his mother entered the room.

Moving straight to Ron, Lily place her hand on his forehead. "The pepper-up potion seems to have done it's job. But you'll need to go straight to bed after dinner."

"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," Ron mumbled as he shuffled to sit between Harry and Naruto.

"Feeling better, mate?" Harry asked in concern.

Ron nodded and yawned, eyes droopy with sleep. "How was the movie?"

Before either boy could reply, Kushina said, "Naruto, why didn't you invite Sakura-chan and Sai-kun? Our table is so empty with Kakashi and Jiraiya out on missions."

With everyone squeezed in around the table haphazardly, and Harry struggling not to bump elbows with Ron on his left or Minato on his right, Harry wondered about her definition of 'empty'.

"Why would I invite them here again?" Naruto said, allowing Hermione to fill his bowl. He rubbed Hedwig's head and said, "You kept trying to set me up with them."

"They weren't bothered by it!"

"Sai wasn't bothered because he's a weirdo!" Naruto said. "What makes you think we'd get together? At least, stick with Sakura-chan."

"I can't choose one over the other. You look so cute with both of them!" Kushina turned to the woman sitting right beside her. "You thought so too, right?"

Lily rolled her eyes as she waved her wand at one of the dishes. "Don't drag me into this."

"Nee-chan!" Kushina pouted. "We're supposed to present a united front."

"Only when we need the boys to do their chores," Lily retorted. "Not for this."

"You were helping me plan the wedding! You picked out the flowers."

Lily's cheeks tinged with pink. "I... that wasn't..."

The table fell silent as everyone stared between the two women.

"What happened to that red-headed Suna boy? The Kazekage?" Hermione asked with a severe frown. "Is he out of the running?"

"Nee-san, not you too!" Naruto turned to Hermione in horror, his chopsticks frozen in front of his mouth.

"I'm just asking," Hermione said. "Don't you like him? I thought he was rather nice."

"Don't bother him with that kind of talk when he's eating," Ron muttered sleepily.

Naruto turned to him, eyes bright with happiness at the support.

"Besides, you're forgetting that purple eyed one who likes him," Ron said.

"Which one? Neji or Hinata?" Harry supplied with an innocent smile.

Beside him, Minato snorted but kept his amused eyes fixed on his food.

Reaching the end of his patience, Naruto said, "Nii-san's older. He should get married before me."

Another silence swept over the table for a moment before everyone's voices rose.

"As Godfather," Sirius said, his loud voice drowning out everyone else. "It falls to me to choose my godson's future life partners."

"As his father, that's my duty," James corrected.

"Godfathers choose because they make better choices. Cooler choices."

In his corner of the dining room, Akira looked heavenward with a sorrowful expression as the table devolved into an argument. "Ancestors, I worry for our clan's future..."

Harry turned to the only sane person left in the room.

"Dumplings, Harii-kun?" Minato asked with a soft smile. "I made some spicy ones."

Harry nodded and glanced at Akira as Minato filled his bowl.

"Has Akira started praying to the ancestors already?" Minato asked softly as he offered Crookshanks a small piece of meat.

Harry's lips twitched but he nodded solemnly.

Minato scratched Crookshanks' ears and turned to the corner Harry had been staring at. "I better put some more food in our offerings to him."

From Minato's other side, Sirius said, "Why are you so nice to someone you can't even see?"

"Because he's our family." Hedwig jumped up from Naruto's shoulder and landed on Minato's with a hoot.

Turning to the table as though he hadn't just been praying dramatically to the heavens, Akira said, "Why can't you all be like Minato? He understands the importance of family."

"And I'd rather not get cursed with something like baldness," Minato said, feeding Hedwig some of his food.

Sirius roared with laughter.

"That's the real reason?" Akira said, his voice genuinely disheartened at the revelation.

Harry grinned and bit into his spicy dumpling.


	6. A Wild Uchiha Appears

**Summary:** Harry finds an Uchiha. And everyone is confused.

* * *

Over the past few minutes, the vibrant forest around Harry filled with thick white fog that obscured him vision and left him feeling helpless. Even Hedwig stayed perched on his shoulder, unwilling to tackle the low hanging fog.

As he moved forward to find some shelter from the disorienting fog, a pained groan and a wet cough made Harry pause. Feeling an intense sense of deja vu, Harry called out, "Hello? Are you all right? Do you need help?"

Just like the previous time Harry had been in this situation, the person refused to answer and muffled their coughs.

"I can still hear you," Harry muttered as he stumbled towards the muffled sounds.

In a matter of minutes, the sharp metallic stench of blood in the air guided Harry to a person slumped in front of a tree a few feet away.

Wearing battered red armour and covered in blood, the young man clutched his side and struggled to breathe.

Before Harry could step forward to announce his presence, the long-haired man glanced up with a snarl on his blood-coated face and raised his sword only to pause and squint.

With a gasp that was half disbelief and half joy, the man croaked out, "Izuna?" and fell forward in a dead faint.

Harry rushed to the man's side and scanned his injured body with a spell. "This is too much for me to try and heal. He needs professional help," Harry said even as he used a spell to stop the man's bleeding.

Hedwig hooted.

"I need to get him to Konoha but we need for the fog to dissip..." Harry paused as he looked up from the man. The thick fog had lifted leaving behind only a normal forest. "I guess we're going to Konoha sooner than we thought."

With a spell to lighten the man's body and another to float him up, the young man lay slumped on Harry's back.

"Why does he have so much armour?" Harry cursed as he shifted his hold so that the man's armour wouldn't cut into Harry. "And why does he have to be so tall?"

Even with spells to make his burden light, the walk to Konoha was uncomfortable.

"Harii?" Izumo greeted as he came out of the gate's guard station. "What..."

"He needs medical help," Harry said.

Kotetsu elbowed Izumo as he came forward.

"Right," Izumo said. "Who is he?"

Harry shrugged as he removed the spells he'd put on the man. He felt the slight crush of the man's returning weight before Kotetsu manoeuvred him off of Harry with ease. "I don't know. I just found him like this. The only thing he said was Izuna"

Izumo scratched off some brown flaking blood from the armour, revealing a solid white circle with a red crescent above it. He sucked in a deep breath, motioned in the air till a masked man landed beside them and said, "I'll get the Hokage."

In a nauseating blur of racing wind and movement, Harry found himself standing in a sterile white room with the masked man and Kotetsu placing the unconscious man on a bed.

One minute they were working on the unconscious man's red armour and the next moment, the man moved.

Heedless of his injuries, the man grabbed Kotetsu by the throat and threw him across the room with an audible crunch of bones. He parried the masked man's glowing hand and stabbed him hand into the masked man's abdomen with a wet squelch.

As the masked man fell in a spray of blood, the man landed in front of Harry with a snarl, his long hair whipping behind him wildly.

He squinted with a glazed look and dropped his blood drenched hand to touch Harry's cheek. "Izuna."

Unable to move as fear filled his mind, Harry cringed as warm blood smeared his cheek.

The door opposite them opened and the Hokage looked around with wide eyes that turned sharp and filled the air with a promise of violence.

"Don't fear, Izuna," the man said. "I'll free us."

Feeling the man's hand move, Harry grabbed it with new resolve. "No," he said as he pushed his magic out with a silent spell.

In a flare of red, the armoured man feel to the ground unconscious.

"Harii!" Izumo called as he rushed forward with other masked men. "Are you hurt?"

Harry blinked and looked up with a shudder. "Kotetsu. He threw Kotetsu."

Izumo nodded and wiped at Harry's cheek. "The medics are already taking him to surgery. Don't worry. Harii?"

"I don't feel so good," Harry confessed as his vision swam.

Green coloured the world. "Take a deep breath," a stern voice commanded. "You're safe now."

Harry nodded back at the Hokage. "I'm fine."

She shot him a stern look but pulled back her green glowing hands and moved to examine the armoured man. With her hands hovering over his eyes, she grimaced, "What kind of hellish misfortune is this?"

Hours later as he sat in a cramped doctor's office with a blanket covering his shoulders, the Hokage looked between him and the papers he had filled out.

"He called you Izuna three times," she said.

Harry nodded, keeping his eyes off the various anatomy pictures in the office.

"He's fighting off sedation," Tsunade said. "Nothing we do can keep him under for more than half an hour at most."

Harry didn't see a problem with that.

"If we keep sedating him, he'll build up an immunity and our current methods won't work on him at all." Tsunade took a deep breath. "He was calm in your presence."

"Calm? He almost killed Kotetsu, even though I was right there."

"But he didn't hurt you."

"Because he was so injured he thought I was someone else."

"Izuna," Tsunade said. "He thought you were his brother Izuna."

"Exactly, he was delusional from the blood loss," Harry said. "Wait, how do you know that Izuna is his brother? Do you actually know him?"

"Yes, his blood tests came in," Tsunade said. "We know who he is."

"Then why can't you just..."

Tsunade interrupted him. "He doesn't know any of us. And he won't care to get to know anyone."

Harry stared at her in disbelief. "You want me to go along with his delusion and pretend to be his brother?"

Tsunade looked apologetic but unrelenting. "He needs to be kept calm until this situation is resolved. If he thinks you're his brother and that keeps him... calm, then I need you to play along."

"How can I pretend to be his brother when I don't know anything about him, let alone his name."

Tsunade rubbed her forehead. "His name is Madara. And it's critical that he remains calm inside Konoha."

"Or we could just not keep him in Konoha," Harry suggested with a hopeful look.

"That's not going to happen," Tsunade said as she stood. "Now that I know he's here, I can't let him roam around without supervision."

"Can't one of you pretend to be me?" Harry asked as he followed her through the empty corridors.

"We already tried," Tsunade said. "We had to use a triple dosage of sedatives because it didn't fool him one bit."

"How am I supposed to keep him calm?" Harry asked.

"Think about how a younger brother would calm his older brother," Tsunade said as she opened a seal covered door and sighed. "I'm too sober for this shit."

"That doesn't help," Harry said as he followed her and gaped at the scene in front of him.

Madara with his eyes bandaged and covered in seals was holding a bleeding masked man by the throat.

"Madara!" Harry yelled when Tsunade made no move to intervene and pummel the bandaged man.

"Izuna?" Madara dropped the masked and turned to Harry's voice.

Tsunade pushed him forward with a look.

Madara raised his hand, that was once again covered in blood, towards Harry. "Izuna?"

"Don't touch me with your dirty hands," Harry said and then winced, waiting for the inevitable blood-bath. There was no way Madara would think he was Izuna.

Madara snorted. "You're always so prissy about that. Izuna, we're ninja. Blood is a way of life."

Harry chanced a glance at Tsunade who just shrugged. "No blood on me."

"Is this how you treat your injured brother, Izuna?"

"Yes, because injured people are supposed to be sleeping. Not trying to kill more people."

"He was breathing too loud," Madara said with a wave at the injured masked man. "And he wouldn't tell me where they had kept you."

"No one kept me anywhere. I had to clean up from your previous... dramatics." Harry congratulated himself for not saying _murder spree_.

"You make it sound as though I am some sort of spoiled princess."

Harry stared at the bandaged man for a long moment. He took a deep breath, ignored the blood covered hand and stepped closer to Madara. "Get back into bed Princess Madara so that the healer can make sure you haven't lost any more of your brain."

"Izuna, where are we and..."

"Back to bed!" Harry said pushing the man for all the good that it did.

"I'm not so injured that you have to be so gentle," Madara said even as he moved back to the bed with Harry's help.

Tsunade followed swiftly and within moment, Madara was unconscious again.

"How can he possibly think I'm his brother?" Harry asked in disbelief.

Tsunade stared at him. "Stranger things have happened. But right now, I can't remember anything stranger than this."

After two complete days without any violence, Harry dragged the older man through the streets of Konoha.

"Izuna, are you sure it's safe to be in such a crowded place?"

Harry glanced at the taller man beside him, clad in black. "Yes, now move so we can get some food. Do you have any idea how long it took me to convince them that we should come outside."

"But..."

"I won't leave your side," Harry said with impatience. "So stop worrying and hurry up."

"Stop acting like Father. I'm not worrying." Madara scoffed and rubbed the bandages over his eyes. "Who said I was worrying?"

"If a medic said I had to keep my eyes covered for a week like you do, then I'd be worried too."

Madara's breath hitched and he tightened his grip on Harry's arm. "Are your eyes... is something wrong?"

"My eyes are fine," Harry reassured his companion as he led the way to a food stall.

"Nii-san!"

Feeling an immense sense of relief, Harry smiled at seeing his cousin for the first time in days. "Naruto, you're back."

"Who's Naruto?" Madara asked, his irritation unable to hide his confusion.

Naruto, in turn, stared at Madara with narrowed blue eyes. "So that's him, huh?"

Realizing that Naruto had been appraised of the situation, Harry nodded. "We were just headed to lunch. Do you want to come along?"

Naruto nodded with a serious expression. "You owe me tons of ramen, nii-san."

"Nii-san," Madara mumbled, his head turned in Harry's direction. "Have you gone and adopted some brat, Izuna?"

"I'm not a brat!" Naruto snarled in outrage.

Madara turned to Naruto's direction and pursed his lips. "All right whelp. If Izuna, of all people, lets some no name like you call him nii-san, then he must have seen something worthwhile in you. I'll trust his judgement. You can call me onii-sama."

Harry stood stunned by the strange turn of events.

Naruto looked even more indignant as he said, "Don't want to. Nii-san is the only family I need."

Madara stilled and then scoffed. "Just how little are you brat? Clinging to Izuna like a baby?"

"I'm not clinging. You're the one clinging!" Naruto retorted.

As the two of them descended into childish bickering and name-calling, Harry was just thankful that there wasn't anymore bloodshed from Madara.

Three days later, that thankfulness evaporated when both Madara and Naruto couldn't go ten minutes without devolving into a childish argument with each other.

Harry felt a whole new appreciation for his magic as a peaceful and much-needed quiet settled over the hospital room for the first time since Madara and Naruto met. A quiet that was only interrupted by two sets of soft snores.

Having to be a mediator between Naruto and Madara's constant squabbling had been a test of his patience and sanity.

When they had started arguing because the other was apparently 'breathing too loud', Harry finally resorted to magic.

While the two had been completely absorbed in their argument, Harry shot the bickering pair with a few spells.

The first spell was a simple tiring spell which was mostly used on animals to tire them out slowly over the course of a few hours.

The other notable spell Harry used was something that would increase the heat and humidity in their general vicinity. Nothing like unfavourable weather to make people lethargic.

To Harry's delight, his experimental choice of spells worked. The pair had been asleep for over two hours.

But as Harry contemplated their lunch options, Madara shifted restlessly, a sure sign that he wasn't asleep anymore.

Tiptoeing past the still snoring Naruto on the sofa that had been brought it, Harry wondered if he should chance using some more magic. Like a direct sleeping spell.

Showing his uncanny sharp hearing, Madara turned his bandage covered eyes to Harry. "Izuna," he whispered, his voice unusually soft.

Madara's covered eyes made it hard to read his emotions, but the tense line of his shoulders gave Harry an inkling of understanding. "What's wrong?"

"This is a really strange dream." Madara's face twitched, some flicker of emotion vanishing as quickly as it appeared. "But it's not a bad dream. Having you act so strangely gentle is much better than dreaming of you dying."

Harry gaped, stunned into silence.

"I just wish I could have seen your face again before I woke up," Madara said. "This dream-you probably has laugh lines." Madara paused and made an understanding sound. "Ah! That's why I can't see your face. My mind can't picture you looking as carefree as you sound..."

"Madara," Harry interrupted. "This isn't a dream."

Madara snorted. "I really can't understand how my mind created such a gentle version of you, Izuna. One so unburdened by war."

"This isn't a dream," Harry repeated.

"That what is it? The afterlife?" Madara scoffed. "I have no intention of dying until I make the Uchiha clan get the recognition they deserve."

"You can't choose when you'll die idiot," Harry retorted.

Madara's lips pulled back into a grin. "Hah! There's that smart mouth. Seems like every version of you is destined to have that."

"I'm not Izuna," Harry blurted before he could help it.

Instead of the anger or confusion that Harry had expected at the confession, Madara chuckled. "Of course you aren't the Izuna I know. The real you never had the patience for children, let alone one as annoying as the one my dream has given you."

Harry protested that unnecessary dig at Naruto.

"Still, no matter how strange, I wish I could dream a little longer." Madara said with a wistful sigh. "But I need to wake up. Who knows what that idiot Kaito is doing while I stay here dreaming like a fool."

"You're not going anywhere," Harry said. "Stop being so dramatic."

"It's a shame you will disappear when I wake," Madara said with a sad smile.

"That's it," Harry said and moved to grab Madara. His hand phased right through Madara's arm.

Harry must have screamed because Naruto woke and moved to his side in an instant with a drawn weapon. But they could only watch as Madara faded into nothingness.

Hours later as he drank another cup of steaming tea, Harry couldn't put his mind around what he had witnessed. "He just disappeared."

Naruto shot him a pained look. "Nii-san."

"It would have been strange for him to remain here," the Hokage said.

Harry swallowed. "What is that supposed to mean? What aren't you telling me about him?"

Tsunade looked at him with solemn eyes before she sighed. "Let me tell you the story of how Konoha was formed. About the time my grandfather Senju Hashirama was so determined to bring peace that he worked to ally with the Senju's biggest enemies. The Uchiha who were led by Uchiha Madara..."

Months later as he stared at the resurrected form of Uchiha Madara, Harry groaned. "Do you always have to be so dramatic?"

Madara stared at him with red eyes. "Izu... who are you?"

Pulling on courage he didn't know he had, Harry said, "Five days I had to put up with your dramatics, princess Madara, the least you could do is remember me."

Everyone around him stilled as Madara tilted his head. "That was a..."

"If you say dream, I am genuinely going to," Harry paused as Madara reappeared right in front of him in a rush of wind. Harry cleared his throat and looked up into red eyes. "Like I kept trying to tell you back then. It wasn't a dream."

"Nii-san!"

They turned.

"Naruto?" Madara asked in confusion.

"Yes," Harry said.

"I'm glad I never had to see that hideous orange outfit with my own eyes," Madara said with an imperious sniff. "He's a real brat."

"What was that, you boring princess?" Naruto yelled in outrage.

"Are you two seriously going to do this now in front of everyone?" Harry asked in disbelief. When both of them ignored him to argue, Harry brought out the only thing that could stop them.

His magic.

Within a few moments, both were yawning mid-argument. And within another few moments, they were both asleep on the ground.

Noticing everyone's stares, Harry shrugged. "Naps were they only thing that could stop their childish arguments." He looked around. "So, what do we do now?"


	7. An Extended Stay at the Fire Temple

**Summary** : Harry's first visit to the Fire Temple goes down a very different path.

Inspired by a mix of prompts from DreamOfStories sent in at my blog. The two prompts were "Alternative job: Harry the Priest / Monk (Harry really does go off to the temple and stays for a bit - just a bit - cause reasons)" and "Harry gets handwriting lessons."

* * *

Not finding anything else to fix, Harry stretched and took a deep breath before he ventured out of the room that he had sequestered himself in.

Turning away from the comfortable hum of distant conversation and chanting, Harry went into quiet and empty corridors, stopping at every wall to run his fingers over the thin carvings etched there. Even though he couldn't decipher any of it, Harry couldn't help but admire the sheer amount of detail that had gone into making the carvings.

Absorbed by the carvings, Harry didn't realize that he had entered an occupied room until a throat cleared.

Harry startled at the sudden noise and turned.

Seated at a low wood table with a brush in his hand, Chiriku lips twitched upwards. "Ichigen has gone out to gather herbs."

"Right," Harry said, slouching and resisting the urge to flee out of the room. "I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"You did not," Chiriku said and waved him over. "If I didn't want company, I would have locked myself away in another location. How has your stay been so far?"

"Good," Harry said, "I have no complaints. I've been busy with all the repairing."

"I hope the others haven't been piling things on to your workload."

Harry shook his head. "Not at all." As he stopped by the table, the smell of fresh ink rose wafted up from the large characters written on top of ethereal watercolour scenes. "Calligraphy?"

"It's the easiest way for one to connect with their spirit," Chiriku said as he dipped his brush in a bowl of ink. "And these are the easiest way for the Temple to earn a quick and steady income."

"These are beautiful," Harry said. "I can see why people would want to buy them."

"Thank you," Chiriku acknowledged the complement with a nod. "I've got some spare supplies if you have nothing else to do."

Harry shook his head. "I can't do anything like that."

"Have you tried it before? If you haven't then you can't be sure." Chiriku pushed a blank paper and pointed to the waiting brush and ink station at the table.

Harry didn't know what possessed him to sit and pick up the brush. As he stared at his first finished attempt, Harry slumped and admitted, "I have really bad handwriting."

"You shouldn't force yourself," Chiriku said, voice soft and almost chiding. "The aim is not to impress anyone. The aim is to relax and connect with your spirit. That will create _your_ masterpiece."

"I don't think I can..."

"Everyone has the ability to create a masterpiece, they just need to try," Chiriku said as as he added some vivid blue colour to the background he was painting.

Swayed by the monk's belief, Harry tried again. And before he knew it, his hand hurt as he placed his latest attempt on the thick stack of his previously used sheets.

"It looks like you connected with your spirit just fine," Chiriku said as he lit a lamp. "If you wish to try again later, I suggest using one of our old robes. It would be better than getting ink stains all over your clothes."

Harry flexed his hand and winced at the black ink speckled along his sleeve.

The next day clad in some old monk robes, Harry sat with the paper and ink that had already been laid out for him.

Over the next few days, Harry grew more comfortable with the brush in his hand, so much so that he came to crave the quiet peace that calligraphy work gave him.

And the things he made weren't too terrible.

"Nii-san!"

The brush in Harry's hand faltered and gleaming ink slid across the paper. "Naruto, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" Naruto gaped at him. "What are you doing here? You said you weren't becoming a monk but you're wearing the robes and doing calligraphy and you've been here for more than a week. And I got worried so I asked for a mission to come and check..."

Harry held up his hand. "I'm not becoming a monk."

Naruto shot Harry's outfit a pointed look.

"The robes are for the ink splatter that comes with all this calligraphy," Harry said. "Ink stains are not fun to clean out and they said I could wear this."

"Why are you staying here to do calligraphy?"

Harry sighed. "I thought a decorative calligraphy scroll would be a nice gift for you."

"Exactly! Wait, my what?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Harry admitted. "But there's no point in hiding it. Especially since I haven't been able to make anything that's gift worthy just yet." Harry grabbed the paper he had been working for, wondering if it could be salvaged. "I've been working on this for days but..."

A loud explosion and a thundering sound echoed through the Temple as the ground shook, interrupting Harry.

"The iron gates have been breached," a voice yelled.

"It's Akatsuki." Someone else yelled.

Naruto's pale face was the last thing Harry remembered when he regained consciousness.

It hurt to breath.

And it hurt even more to cough out the blood and bile from his mouth.

Confused by why and how he was injured, Harry reached for his throat with swollen and mangled fingers of his wand arm. It took a few tries to mouth the word _**'Episkey'**_ before the rush of healing hit him.

The spell lowered his pain, eased his breathing and unfortunately even restored some of his senses.

A tortured howl and scream filled his ears while the thick scent of blood clogged up his already laboured breathing.

It took another few Episkeys and a lot of willpower to wipe his cracked glasses and raise his head from the ground.

Beyond the mangled corpses and blood drenched ground, Naruto hung from a broken temple wall, pinned in place with a metal rod through his hands.

A man stood in front of Naruto, coat hanging off his waist to show charcoal black skin with thick white lines. "Your regeneration makes you the best kind of offering to Jashin-sama, you animal. Just like that Cloud bitch."

Naruto snarled through the thin but vicious red energy bubbling over his skin.

"You might have a beast in you, but when I'm finished destroyed certain chakra pathways, you'll become as weak as a civilian." He laughed as he twirled some sort of metal rod. "It's good that you're still able to draw on that chakra. It makes this so much more..." the man turned the rod and stabbed it into his own abdomen and let out a delirious moan as blood spurted out of his body. "Jashin-sama is going to be very pleased."

Naruto howled, his red energy fading even as it concentrated over the blood stain that appeared on his abdomen.

The cloaked man laughed with delight. "Looks like I still have a lot more to destroy before you're completely unable to draw on that beast of yours."

Harry didn't even know he was moving until fingers closed around his throat and lifted him up into the air.

"Still alive?" a dark skinned man said as his hand, or rather the wrist segment of his hand, contracted and pulled Harry towards him via the threads they were connected to. "You're hardy for a civilian. I'm sure I crushed a lot more than your throat when I threw you before."

Naruto howled and struggled, his head turned to Harry as blood dripped down his impaled hands and onto his blond hair.

"Oh," the cloaked man in front of Naruto said. "You've got some new fight in you. Why's that?" He turned and laughed as he saw Harry. "Oi Kakuzu, bring that one over here."

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu said. "Stop playing around. It's time to finish."

"This animal knows that one. He wants to _save_ him," Hidan said in between bouts of laughter as he twirled another rod in his hand. "Look how desperately he's trying to free himself and reach you two. It's so pathetic." Hidan stabbed his own chest. "No one is getting saved here. The monks are dead. The ninja are dead. He's going to die like the rest of them."

Kakuzu sighed in exasperation. "Idiot."

As Naruto howled again with a terrifyingly wet gurgle, Harry's already blistering anger overflowed into a murderous rage. Even as the fingers tightened around his neck, Harry grabbed Kakuzu's arm with both hands and rasped out, "Avada Kedavra."

Green, a familiar deadly green, filled his entire vision.

When he landed on his knees, Harry peeled off the unmoving fingers from his neck but blinding black spots obscured his vision.

"Why the fuck are your disgusting thread beasts melting, Kakuzu? They're ruining the fucking mood, you bastard!" Hidan called out in the strange silence. "Kakuzu?"

Not willing to chance any error, Harry raised his hand. "Accio Hidan." Hearing Hidan curse without any trace of laughter, Harry added, "Immobulus."

Curses filled the air as Harry's vision finally cleared enough to see in front of him.

Now sporting pale skin, Hidan looked down at Harry, his arm frozen mid-swing with another rod that was inches away from Harry's head. "What the fuck did you do to me, you godless..."

With Naruto's now silent howls echoing in his mind, Harry stumbled to his feet and pressed his unholstered wand under Hidan's chin. "Cru..." Harry stopped.

Hidan scoffed. "The fuck do you think a stick can do to me, huh?"

"I'm not you," Harry said, more to himself. Looking right into the man's purple eyes, Harry pressed his wand deeper into Hidan's skin. "Avada Kedavra."

Green lit up Hidan's open mouth, the metal amulet at his neck exploded into splinters and black smoke raced out of his body with a deafening screech, dissipating before Harry could do anything.

With his ears still ringing, Harry let Hidan's lifeless body fall and stumbled forward towards a silent Naruto.

The pain that he had ignored in his anger returned tenfold and made every movement a desperate struggle.

Magically vanishing the metal rod from which Naruto's hands hung, Harry caught his cousin and searched for a pulse even as he said, "Naruto. It's over. You can wake up now... it's safe." He wiped the blood off Naruto's chin and used a spell to clear Naruto's throat even as a weak pulse fluttered under his searching fingers.

"Please," Harry prayed, keeping his fingers on the weak pulse point while he used every healing spell he knew on the still bleeding wounds. "Naruto, wake up."


	8. Alternate Path to Konoha

**Summary** : On his journey to Konoha, Harry saves a fawn and strange trouble follows.

* * *

Five hours after entering Fire Country, Harry understood where the country got it's name. Even with the constant casting of spells to make the stifling heat and sticky humidity bearable, Harry felt completely drained when he stopped for lunch.

With his back against the rough bark of a towering tree, Harry gulped down some magically cooled water and relished the icy liquid with a loud sigh.

Hedwig startled awake, ignored his embarrassed apology and tightened her grip on his shoulder as she turned away from him in curious caution.

Harry cast a Homenum Revelio, but the spell didn't show any people in range. Harry readied his wand as he strained his ears to hear something other than the rustling of trees and droning buzz of insects.

With her head tilted, Hedwig hooted, sounding more concerned than cautious.

"What is it?"

Hedwig jumped into the air with another hoot.

Harry followed her through the forest and sped up when faint sounds of distress filtered through the thick foliage. But the solid forest ground gave way to thick bubbling mud under his feet.

Harry yanked his foot out of the mud with a loud plop and moved back to safety.

Instead of croaking frogs and other swamp dwellers, a small fawn struggled in the centre of the thick dark mud.

Worn out but still struggling against the mud, the fawn perked up as it saw Harry and made a weak pleading sound.

Hedwig circled the fawn, hooting softly in between gentle trills.

When the fawn calmed it's struggle, Hedwig shot Harry a do-something-now look.

Unlike the twins' portable swamp, a strong Evanesco spell vanished the top layer of mud only to expose more mud lurking underneath.

At the fawn's weak and miserable cry, Harry turned to Hedwig. "You might want to be higher up in the air for the next bit." With Hedwig up higher, Harry concentrated on the tiny creature and moved his wand. "Accio."

The fawn let out a high-pitched sound of terror as it raced through the air to Harry.

Relying on his Quidditch training, Harry caught the mud encrusted fawn as gently as he could before it could slam into his chest.

When petting, murmuring and Hedwig's soothing hoots didn't calm the panicking fawn, Harry resorted to magic. Casting the first spell that came to mind, a silver stag materialized beside them.

The fawn stilled, uncurled and raised it's head to stare at the stag. With a tired whine the fawn stretched up, trying to nuzzle Harry's patronus just before it disappeared.

Taking advantage of it's calm, Harry fed the fawn some water and faltered in surprise when it fell asleep in his hold.

"Now what?" Harry turned to Hedwig.

Hedwig tightened her grip on his shoulder and gave him a blank stare.

"Maybe we can leave it here and it's parents will..." Harry winced as Hedwig bit his ear. "It was just a suggestion," he added weakly. After a bit of manoeuvring, Harry stowed his wand away and pulled the still dirty fawn closer in a better hold and walked away from the swamp.

Glad that he had already eaten lunch, Harry walked faster to cover some more distance to Konoha before the sun set. If he was lucky, he'd figure out what to do with the fawn. And if he reached Konoha with it, then hopefully someone there would know what to do with it.

A few hours into their travel, a faint and distant bleating woke the snoozing fawn in Harry's arms.

As the fawn looked around searching for something, Hedwig took to the air and moved towards the sounds. Wondering if he was going to save yet another deer, Harry followed.

"What are you doing on this property?" A deep and stern voice called out.

Harry paused, searching the dark shadows as Hedwig landed on his shoulder. With a quick Homenum Revelio, Harry turned to where the person was hidden and ventured, "I think there's a deer that needs help?" Before Harry could feel too stupid, the fawn warbled out a cautious call.

An answering call emerged from the direction that Harry had been headed towards.

In an instant, an entire herd of deer emerged from the trees and surrounded him.

Hedwig hooted, whether at him or at the deer, he couldn't tell.

Startled and unsure, Harry stilled, but the fawn moved. Harry knelt and kept his hands close as the fawn wobbled down onto the ground.

The fawn stayed within arms' reach as a doe came closer and nuzzled it.

Happy at the reunion, Harry glanced at Hedwig, "We did that."

Hedwig hooted in agreement, looking rather pleased.

A throat cleared and broke the moment.

Harry froze, having forgotten the other man's presence.

The man stood outside the ring of deer and stared at Harry with sharp black eyes. "You saved our missing fawn," the man said. While his deer skin coat showed a connection to the deer, the assessing gaze and the facial scars told Harry that the man was anything but a simple deer herder.

Harry shrugged and said, "I just pulled it out of a swamp."

"Swamp?" The man asked, his face shifting into a frown as he glanced at Harry's clothes. "Where was this?"

Conscious of the dried mud on his clothes, Harry said, "A few hours back that way."

"The paperwork I'll need to do to deal with that," the man sighed. "I don't want to think about all that extra work."

Unsure of how to reply, Harry changed the topic. "Please tell me I'm still on the right path to reach Konoha."

"You're headed to Konoha?"

Harry nodded and scratched at the mud on his clothes.

After another assessing gaze, the man said, "You are. And as long as you don't get sidetracked saving any other animals, you'll be in Konoha by the end of the week at the very latest."

Harry shrugged and turned to the fawn. "There's nothing wrong with saving an animal."

As though it felt Harry's gaze, the fawn stopped nuzzling the doe and bounded back to Harry.

Taken by the fawn's excitement, Harry knelt down to pet it.

The fawn however, took Harry's movement as an invitation to jump back into his hold. The doe that had followed the fawn nuzzled Harry's head with something resembling a purr.

The rest of the herd closed in.

Harry waved a hand in the man's direction as he ducked and dodged the herd's curious licks. "A little help please."

A quick series of whistles made most the herd move away from Harry but the fawn stayed in Harry's arms.

"Looks like you've charmed the herd," the man said, the amusement in his voice crystal clear.

"Wasn't trying to," Harry said in protest as he stood.

The man glanced at the fawn in Harry's arms. "You heading to Konoha for a job?"

Even though he wasn't, Harry agreed. He didn't think that his real reason- his search for any living Uzumaki- was something to share with strangers.

"How would you like to be a deer herder?"

Harry stared. "I don't know anything about deer."

"By the time we reach Konoha, you'll know everything you need to. It's about time I get this herd back home," the man said. "I'm Nara Shikaku, by the way."

"Harii," Harry said as he shifted his hold of the fawn into something more comfortable. "And I can make it to Konoha on my own."

"You intend to take the fawn with you?"

Harry held the fawn towards the man.

Shikaku shook his head. "They don't like it when _we_ hold them." Noticing Harry's incredulity, he added, "I'm just as surprised as you are at it's behaviour."

"Looks like you don't know everything about your deer," Harry said before he could stop himself.

Shikaku looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Seems like it. Have you had any experience with animals before?"

Memories of Buckbeak, Noberta and various other magical creatures raced through Harry's mind. "Not really."

"If you managed to work with an owl, then deer won't be much of a problem," Shikaku said. "In fact they might be easier."

Harry stared down at the dozing fawn, feeling the first stirring of impending irritation. Those feelings grew into exasperation over the days it took to travel to Konoha.

Shikaku spent a majority of their travel time talking about the deer and how to take care of them.

When they passed through a large green gate and into a thicker forest a few days later, another herd of deer emerged from the trees. A herd that merged with the one surrounding Harry.

A large male deer with an imposing set of antlers and Hedwig perched on it's head stopped in front of Harry and stared at him with dark eyes.

"That's Rikumaru," Shikaku said from somewhere to his side.

"Nice to meet you," Harry said, unsure on what else to do.

Rikumaru snorted and turned away from him, even as Hedwig hooted softly.

"I'll have someone clean up a cottage for you," Shikaku said, appearing beside Harry. "And we'll go deal with your paperwork soon."

"What?" Harry said, hoping he had heard wrong. "This is Konoha?"

"This is the Nara property in Konoha," Shikaku said. "It's not like I can bring the herd in through the main gate. No one but Nara can use this way to enter Konoha."

"Look, I appreciate you helping me reach Konoha but I can't..."

"It's obvious that fawn is going to follow you wherever you go. She's too young to be away from the herd," Shikaku explained.

Harry tried to argue, but an hour later when the fawn had left the herd and followed Harry out of the clan compound with the most distressing whines, Harry had to concede to Shikaku's 'offer'.

"It's a rent free place in a clan compound," Shikaku said. "Most people would be thrilled with such good luck."

"You're going to regret this," Harry said, trying to sound as ominous as possible as he sat on the deck of his small cottage. "When you do, I want you to remember that _this_ was your idea."

Shikaku huffed. "Don't be so dramatic."

Two weeks later, Shikaku stood beside Harry and said, "I regret this."

Harry snorted. "Too late for that. Besides, you said you wanted the deer to become more accustomed to people. Look at them, they're learning how to fight."

Naruto laughed and struggled to escape from the under the deer pile as a fawn licked his face.

"Yes," Shikaku said, voice even, "I can see their blood thirst with every movement."

"They got a few kicks in and destroyed his clones before trapping him," Harry said with a shrug. "That has to count for something."

"I should have known you had sinister plans when you named that fawn Trouble," Shikaku said with a painted sigh. "All those plants you've been growing and feeding them has made them your perfect minions."

"Don't be so dramatic, Nara-san," Harry said with a grin. "Besides, it was Shikamaru who named her that after she overturned his shogi board. I had nothing to do with that"

Shikaku shot him a disbelieving look as Naruto's loud laughter filled the air.

"If it really bothers you, just think of this as good training for my upcoming meeting."

"What meeting?" Shikaku asked. "The Hokage sent for you?"

"No," Harry said and sipped on his tea. "I'm meeting with Danzo."

"Danzo? When did you get a meeting invitation from him?" Shikaku's face twisted into a sever frown.

"You do realize that I spend time outside of this clan compound and meet other people, right?" Harry asked. "There's only so much Nara craziness I can handle in a day."

"Why do you have a meeting with Danzo?"

"Because he knows a lot about animals," Harry said, thinking back to that meeting in the market the previous day. "He's been a part of the owl training in the aviary. And we started talking about training possibilities and long story short he said I should try taking a deer through training ground 44..."

"Please tell me you said no," Shikaku said.

"He's coming along," Harry said and turned to the older man. "So it's not like I'll get lost. You can just come along if you're worried."

"I'm not going to spend my free time with Danzo in the Forest of Death."

"Forest of Death?" Harry said, considering the name and then shrugged. "At least it's not the Forbidden Forest."

"Well, it's too bad you can't go on this terrible idea of an outing because you'll be working with the herd."

Having found a way to disrupt Shikaku's plans, Harry stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Do I need to tell Yoshino-san that you're making me work so that you can laze about and drink."

"You can't take a fawn into a predator filled forest," Shikaku said.

"I'm not taking Trouble," Harry said with a huff. "I'm taking Rikumaru. He's different... haven't you noticed his fur getting a lot lighter?"

"That's a normal occurrence with the change in seasons," Shikaku said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"You haven't seen him in proper light, have you," Harry sighed. "Nara-san, I don't think there's anything normal about his fur slowly turning white. In fact, I'm certain it's not normal. The only other white stag I... well, it's also not normal."


	9. Alternate Job: Fortune Teller

**Summary** : Harry has only one goal in mind. Get his job as a fortune teller shut down so that he can concentrate on more important things like finding his family.

* * *

Mindful of his first ninja customer waiting for him to speak, Harry stared into the man's garish cup, trying and failing to find any distinct shapes in the soggy lumps of tea. The magically cast citrus scent that filled Harry's apartment couldn't cover the faint but irritating scent of tobacco from the ninja. "Ash."

In the startled silence that followed, the ninja cleared his throat. "Ash?"

Harry looked up from the tea cup. "Ash is the biggest danger to your life."

Because smoking was a certain danger to a person. So his prediction wasn't complete garbage.

The teenager behind the man snorted, clearly not agreeing with Harry.

"When you said this was a finicky art, I should have believed you," the man said with an easy grin as he scratched his beard with a calloused hand.

"Tea reading is the most imprecise method," Harry explained. "What looks like a plain lump of tea to someone could actually be an omen of death."

"Or the other way around?"

Harry nodded. "Anything is possible, Asuma-san."

"So the ash..." Asuma prodded.

"I see it as the danger to your life." Seeing a chance to get his 'fortune reading' farce of a job closed, Harry added, "Can't read anything else about your future at the moment because of all the ash."

Though the teenager's bored expression never wavered at Harry's ridiculous words, Harry could tell that the younger ninja wanted to roll his dark eyes.

Harry would have certainly done that if he was in the other teenager's position.

But Asuma just nodded and smiled with a gentle expression. "I see. Then, thank you for what you've managed to tell me."

When the apartment door closed behind the two ninja a few minutes later, Harry took a deep breath of relief. After that nonsensical fortune reading, surely the ninja would close down his fraudulent business.

Harry waited with restless anticipation for the end of his fortune telling act.

But after days of assuring and scaring numerous civilians with random _'fortunes'_ , the teenage ninja returned with a somber black outfit and a cigarette between his down-turned lips.

Without a word he sat on the other side of the low table that Harry used for his _'work',_ put down a handful of moneyand waited.

"Surely you know better," Harry said with a frown.

The teenager shook his head. "I thought I knew that your ability was garbage. No matter what Asuma said, I thought... but then, you were right about the ash."

Harry blinked and swallowed with apprehension. "I don't understand."

"Considering how accepting he was of your ability, he should have..." Shikamaru looked at Harry with dark and tired eyes. "When we were fighting, Asuma used a technique to defeat our enemy. But the attack hurt Asuma instead. Human lungs aren't meant to be filled with burning ash."

"You're asking me if I saw that in his tea cup?" Harry said in horror.

"Did you?" Shikamaru asked, his dark eyes roiling with emotions.

"I didn't," Harry said with a shake of his head. "To be honest, I thought it was his smoking habit that would, you know."

Shikamaru slumped and pressed a palm to his eye. "He had a kid on the way."

Harry didn't know what to say to that.

"I want... I came here to get an advantage over that monster," Shikamaru said.

"Even if it's a made up advantage?" Harry asked with pursed lips.

"I think you're underestimating your own abilities."

"I _read_ lumps of tea. Tea," Harry emphasized.

"Whatever you're doing," Shikamaru said. "You've predicted a lot more than Asuma's death correctly. So just make some tea already."

Three days later, Shikamaru returned with a lighter posture and a box full of different tea flavours. "I dealt with him. Buried him, in fact, just like you hinted at."

Harry rolled his eyes even as he examined the tea flavours. "I didn't hint at anything like that."

Shikamaru just shrugged. "Maybe the new flavours will help you get some better readings. At the very least, people won't have to keep drinking the usual boring tea all that time."

"I suppose you'll want one of these fancy new flavours?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "I have a meeting to get to. So I'll stick with normal tea and you don't even need to read my fortune."

"Too bad," Harry said. "I was sure to _read_ about a lot of upcoming paperwork for you."

Half an hour later, moments after Harry closed the door behind Shikamaru and took a few steps away, someone knocked.

A soft but insistent knock that he had never heard before.

Harry opened the door, only for a blonde girl to rush in and close the door behind her.

"I suppose this quiet sort of place would suit Shikamaru's taste," the blonde said after a moment as she pushed her bangs back and looked around with assessing eyes. Finally she turned her pale blue eyes to Harry and said, "You are a bit of a surprise though. But if you're his choice, then you're his choice. I'm Shikamaru's team-mate, Ino."

"Okay?" Harry said in confusion.

"Did he give you the tea already?"

"Yes."

"And?" Ino prompted, leaning forward with a delighted smile.

"And," Harry said. "He drank some tea and left for his meeting."

Ino twitched. "What? That's it? I knew that fool wouldn't do things right even when he had the perfect opportunity."

Harry felt more lost than ever. "Perfect opportunity?"

"To take your relationship to the next level."

"Relationship? Wait, you think... you're wrong."

Ino looked at him like he was being particularly stupid at the moment. "Shikamaru has always been a lazy bum. And most times, he's an inconsiderate lazy bum. So when that same Shikamaru asked me about places to buy speciality tea, I knew something was up. And I'm right because..."

Harry interrupted her. "Shikamaru is trying to convince me that I can actually read the future with tea."

Ino frowned. "Shikamaru is the most logical person I know. There's no way he'd..." she paused, her eyes going wide. "This is more serious than I expected. It's a good thing I'm here because Choji would not be able to deal with this."


	10. Possible First Meeting: Anko

**Summary** : Harry meets some snakes in Konoha. And then he meets their summoner. (An old and short prompt fill for mer)

* * *

"She's at it again, that crazy woman," a voice hissed.

"I wish I'd had more time to sleep after our hunt, but no, that hag had to call us out here for her usual stupid reasons," Another voice hissed from the same direction, a deeper hiss that was filled with annoyance.

Around Harry, the heavy foliage of Konoha's trees muffled sounds and carried them in different directions, making it hard to pinpoint the source of the hisses.

"And that alcohol on her breath," The first voice hissed, getting louder as though the speaker was coming closer. "She must have found something really strong this time."

"Last time she summoned us like this, I got cut open... and she never even bothered to check if I healed properly."

There was a consoling hiss that didn't translate into understandable words as leaves rustled. Two large olive green snakes slithered out from a bush only to pause as the sight of Harry.

One of the snakes, with a distinctive circle of black on it's head, lowered it's head to the ground and hissed, "Since when was there a human here?"

"We must have been too distracted getting away from her." The other snake hissed back, the one with the deeper hiss replied. Even in the shade of the trees, the long jagged scar across it's scales wasn't hard to miss.

"We should leave. It doesn't look like he likes snakes," the first snake decided.

"Who does around here?" the scarred snake hissed back, not sounding surprised or angry about that. It just sounded tired and resigned.

It wasn't a tone that Harry had ever thought to hear from an animal.

Let alone a snake.

Before they could leave his sight Harry hissed, "Is your wound really all right?"

The snakes turned back to him in tandem.

"Did you hear him?" The first snake hissed softly to the other.

The scarred snake hissed back equally softly. "Maybe we're caught in a genjutsu trap. I wouldn't put it past her to learn a new trick to torture us..."

Harry knelt down near the snakes, concern overriding any sense of caution at the term 'torture'. "Do you need help?"

The scarred snake came closer and raised it's head as it's tongue flicked out. "You're real! And you want to help? Aren't we still in Konoha?"

Harry frowned in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Little boy, you shouldn't be playing around with those snakes!" A woman's voice called out. On a tree branch high up above him, a purple haired woman clad in a distractingly tight tan and mesh outfit stared down with narrowed eyes and an unpleasant smirk. "They'll kill you."

Having heard the snakes' earlier conversation, Harry said, "They won't. They're obviously familiar with humans, and smart enough to know when they're not being threatened. They have no reason to attack me."

One of the snakes hissed, "Why is he standing up to her for us?"

"How would I know?" The other hissed back.

The woman laughed, her disdain hard to miss. "If they don't attack you now, then they will attack you later. Never trust a snake, they're always waiting for a chance to strike."

A snake hissed softly, too softly for Harry to really hear what it was saying. But the wounded tone was easy to hear.

"I'm sure the person works with these snakes won't appreciate the way you're talking about them," Harry said, knowing that the woman was the snakes' summoner.

"You sure about that, boy?"

Harry looked straight into her mocking eyes and said, "It's the sign of being a decent person to care for something, no matter what kind of creature is it."

"Stop talking to her like that boy," one of the snakes behind him hissed, the words barely reaching Harry's ears. "Not if you want all your limbs intact."

The tree branch creaked as the woman leaned forward with a mocking smile on her face. "And you would care for the snakes if you worked for them?"

"Yes," Harry said without hesitation. "They deserve to be cared for. They're not disposable pawns to be used and thrown away."

The woman's smile vanished. A heavy pressure pressed down on Harry shoulders as she glared down at him. "You two, go back," she said after a long stretch of silence.

"Thank you," one snake hissed at Harry just before thick smoke obscured them from sight.

The sharp edge of something prodded the side of Harry's throat. "And you," the woman said, the bitter scent of alcohol strong on her breath. "Stay away from _my_ snakes."

With a rush of air and a flutter of leaves, Harry stood alone.


	11. Possible First Meeting: Gamabunta

**Summary:** Harry wins a bet and ends up in a sticky situation. (Prompt fill for Euphoretic)

* * *

The large metal sword, taller than any of the giant trees in the forest, gleamed in the orange morning light.

"Ready to admit defeat already, little tadpole?"

Harry rolled his eyes and looked up at the large orange toad. "When I lift this sword, you will carry both of us all the way to and from Snow Country without complaint, right?"

The large toad laughed, his entire orange and red body shaking with amusement.

Naruto tugged Harry's sleeve. "Nii-san maybe we should just… there will be other ways to get there."

Harry scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. We need a vacation and we need to get there fast without tiring ourselves out. This is the best possible option."

"But you can't…" Naruto frowned at the sword.

"Can't?" Harry repeated with narrowed eyes, daring Naruto to continue.

"You might get injured trying to lift that. Then, we won't have any vacation because you'll be in the hospital! We should just go to a Hot Spring and…"

Harry shook his head. "Naruto, I intend to get that free ride to the Land of Snow and some oversized sword isn't going to stop me."

"But…"

Harry moved forward and looked up at the toad. "So you agree to my terms, Gamabunta-san?"

"Ya agreeing to mine?" Gamabunta said as he puffed on his pipe.

"If I can't lift up the sword I'll buy you the super expensive sake from Moon Country for the rest of my life." Harry moved forward for a closer look at the sword. It was obvious to him that even if he used some combination of a levitation charm, a feather-light charm and a sticking charm, he needed to be on higher ground. He turned to Naruto. "Can you make some clones and stack them up high? I need to reach the handle."

Naruto nodded with a wary look of confusion. Numerous clones popped into existence and moved to create a strange human ladder to the top of the sword.

Gamabunta's laugh caused quite a few birds in the area to fly away with an indignant flutter.

Harry ignored the toad and climbed up Naruto's wobbly clone ladder until he reached the handle. With a few minutes of intense concentration to ensure the right mix of helpful spells, Harry held on to the sword handle with his magic and pulled.

The sword slid up and out of the ground. Harry held it aloft for a moment and then put it back down.

Gamabunta's pipe fell from his gaping mouth to the ground with a crack.

The Naruto clones cheered in excitement as they helped Harry come back down.

Gamabunta sighed, sheathed his sword and grabbed both cousins up from the ground. "It's a long way to the Land of Snow. And there ain't time like the present to get going."

=X=

In Konoha, a table crashed down from the Hokage Tower's window in a shower of splinters and glittering glass. "What do you mean, Gamabunta isn't at Mount Myoboku with those two?" Tsunade yelled, her sharp voice loud enough to make everyone in the vicinity shudder and cringe.

=X=

Looking over the top of Gamabunta's clenched hand, Harry crinkled his nose as the foul stench of old decay wafted up from the swamp in front of them. "Where are we? Are we lost?"

"No," Gamabunta said, swivelling his head around as though looking for a handy road sign of some sort.

"This is why you should have let us pack first. We could have used a map," Naruto yelled from Gamabunta's other clenched hand.

"Where are we?" Harry yelled in Naruto's direction. "Any ideas?"

"We're completely lost," Naruto replied.

"We ain't lost!" Gamabunta grumbled, as he lowered his hands and let the teens down. "This is a rest stop."

"How exactly are we supposed to rest in a swamp?" Harry asked as he struggled to raise a foot from the sticky red mud. "This looks like a death trap that wants to drag us down into it's stinky depths. Let's just retrace our way back and out of here."

"About that," Gamabunta sighed above them.

Naruto turned to the giant toad boss with narrowed eyes and opened his mouth to yell, only to exclaim, "Oh."

"That," Harry cleared his throat, staring at what had grabbed their attention. A menacing red barrier blocked the way they had come in from. "That does not look good."

"Never seen anything like this before," Gamabunta said with distaste. "Must've been more tired than I thought to fall for it."

"So, we have to go further into the suspicious swamp then?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer.

"Such a terrible start to a vacation," Naruto mourned. Mid-way through a shake of his head, he yelped and pointed at something in the distance. "G-g-ghost!"

A large spirit of indistinguishable features, except for it's horns, floated a few inches from the mud.

"That doesn't look like a ghost," Harry said.

"That's cos it ain't!" Gamabunta said. "And we ain't in no ordinary swamp. Shoulda realized it the moment I saw the red mud."

"What do you mean, Boss?" Naruto asked, mere inches away from Harry.

"Haven't ya seen Jiraiya use that accursed technique of his?" Not waiting for a reply, Gamabunta groused. "Welcome to the Swamp of the Underworld."

A large creature, armed with numerous monstrous appendages, appeared in the distance and honed in on them with hungry eyes.

"Worst vacation ever," Harry said even as he reached for his wand.


End file.
